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How am I suppose to restore my innocence?Where am I?
It feels warm and I can barely feel my body. I can't see I can't hear, I can't do anything. I try to move but my body won't do what I ask it to do. I'm trying to stay calm, but I can't!
Maybe it's a dream.
I thought, that's when I finally could see and move.
Just can't speak.
I look around only to see darkness. Nothing, just the black emptiness, almost like my mind. But more vivid and real, I imagined that there would be a light.
But I guess I was wrong.
I whipped around, who was that?
My eyes widened at this sight, I couldn't breathe.
My two friends Kayla and Cathy were standing in the distance, smiling and waving.
I miss them.
" .!" My feet just began moving, walking, galloping, running.
I didn't stop. I wanted what we had before, I wanted to feel loved again.
I didn't want to be alone.
They suddenly began to fade away as I ran closer and closer.
"Maya, come with us!" Cathy smiled and held her hand out
Teenage TaoismGiving birth is the closest I’d ever felt to dying.
Before that, my near death experiences had consisted only of my silent announcement of pregnancy—silent, being that my social media accounts were all deleted almost simultaneously and I never returned to school in the fall, saying without really saying that I had caught the malicious disease of “teenage pregnancy”. I’m sure the whisper spread in the hallways like the Bubonic Plague. That September, sitting at home on what would have been the first day of my senior year, I imagined friends I’d never talk to again saying “she was only seventeen, and so full of life!” at my absence in the cafeteria tables, as if they were attending my funeral instead of talking about me behind my back.
"Full of life," I had snorted then, folding a never ending stream of what had once been my own baby clothes. "Literally."
I walked around like a zombie for the months of my pregnancy, deciding t
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